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Advice For Parents

Misty Football Field
It's never too late to walk back a decision.
  • True Believer
    • ​I thought my 4 year old was transgender. I was wrong.
  • ​You Affirmed Your child’s gender…How to roll back
    • ​Sometimes parents come to realize that the affirmative approach hasn’t worked out for their gender-distressed child and they could benefit from alternative approaches. In this episode, Sasha and Stella discuss the many complicated reasons some parents reluctantly affirm their child’s gender and how difficult and brave it can be to rethink the strategy. Parenting styles are explored, and Sasha and Stella point out the importance of finding your confident voice and parenting authority. They also offer tips and suggestions for steering the ship in a better direction once a family has gathered more information and observed an unfavorable outcome of the affirmative approach. These strategies include mitigating powerful influences on your child, broadening the family’s perspective on what overall well-being looks like, and modeling that it’s OK to change your mind once you get better information.
Ocean

Parent to Parent

  • Self Care

    • The most important thing you can do for your family is take care of yourself. Get therapy for yourself, not your child. Or family therapy. Do not outsource your child.​

  • How to address schools 

  • Tips and ideas that led our kids to desistance and how we implemented them​

    • ​Do not be left out of the equation​​

    • This is a marathon, not a sprint

    • Consider delaying giving your child a smart phone or use parental controls

    • Set loving boundaries

    • Less screen time and more family time. More time outdoors.

    • Remember that you are the parent, not a friend. 

    • Be vigilant in monitoring screen time, internet, and social media.

    • Talk to your child about puberty and how it is a challenging time for everyone.  

    • Trust your parental intuition. 

    • Don’t cede your parental authority to your child’s school or to any other professional.

    • Get to know your child’s friends. Do what you can to promote healthy friendships.

  • Triangulation can happen

    • ​Be careful of sending your kids to experts. You are the expert. Even the well meaning therapist can put a wedge between you and your child.​

  • Preserve the relationship

    • ​Do everything you can to preserve the relationship. They will be told the opposite. Show them with love. ​

  • Establish Reality

    • Make sure your children know you will never lie to them.​

  • Hope for parents whose kids have medicalized

    • Don't give up hope. Young adults detransition after 10 years. Preserve the relationship and take care of your mental health

  • Reframe the conversation

    • ​Repeat what they said and ask questions.​​

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